Something occurred to me one day as I was praying the Our Father. The day was just like any other – in fact, I cannot recall anything other than this incident which I am going to narrate below. Just to fill up you guys who are reading this, I started praying the Our Father (aka the Lord's Prayer), Hail Mary and the Glory be each respectively for a person a few months back.
As I was halfway through the Our Father, this verse suddenly struck me:
‘…as we forgive those who sin against us.’
I never gave it much thought before, but I realized there is more to these words than I previously thought.
Everyday we meet people – some familiar, others not so – in our lives. Inevitably, there will be times when those people come in conflict with us, be it our decisions, our character, etc. And those whom we know or are close to are more likely to cross us than those who do not (for better understanding, look up Advanced Mathematics, chapter on Probability :P).
While at times our own judgment on certain matters may be faulty, there may also be times when we know what we stand for is right. Those who initially disagreed with us may come to see that what we had said or done is true, but as is common in human characteristics, many would not come and offer an apology mainly out of simple pride. And this is where our problem starts.
Many of us, although we say we had put that event behind us, had not truly forgiven those whom had wronged us. If we take time to examine our feelings, we find that deep within our hearts we are still hoping that the person will come up and admit their mistakes.
When the person does not come forward to apologise, we continue to keep that grudge within our hearts. The more emotional(or bigger) the problem is, the heavier the grudge is with the person. The heavier the grudge, the harder it is to forget. The harder it is to forget, the more likely we are to dwell on that incident. And the more we dwell on that incident, the bitterer we become.
When praying for forgiveness, it is important that we take time to reflect on whether we forgive those who had wronged us. The Lord Jesus Himself said in Matthew 5:23-24, that we should sort things out with each other before we come into God’s presence and worship Him.
Often when praying we ask the Lord to forgive our sins, but overlook or skim over the fact that we need to forgive those who hurt us as well. It is equally important that we forgive those who sinned against us; when Jesus taught us the Our Father, He did not merely say ‘…and forgive our trespasses’ but completed it, ‘…as WE forgive those who trespassed against us.’ To forgive and to be forgiven both are equally important; one cannot go without the other (Luke 6:37-38).
The Lord Himself emphasized how important it is to forgive one another, giving us an example in Matthew 18:21-35 of what would happen if we fail to do likewise. As with the servant who had had all his debts of 10,000 gold ingots cancelled by the king, so did God forgave all our gravest sin. But can’t we even pardon those who only owe us 100 silver pieces? Is their sin towards us worse than our hanging God’s own Son on the Cross?
What would we lose if we forgive them? Pride? Not at all! Rather, you have gained it, and even more so, you have earned dignity and the privilege of being called a child of the Most High God. Energy? You will save more if you let that event go instead of keeping it boiled in your head. In fact, you will not lose anything when you forgive, rather you will win a lot by forgiving.
One way we can find out if we had really forgiven that person is how we feel around him/her after the incident. Is our feeling or attitude towards him/her different than before we quarreled? Or perhaps that person is someone close to us (for instance, a family member) and had constantly behaved in an unlikable manner; thus is our feelings towards him/her the same old fear/hatred/anger etc.? Or do we open our hearts to love them as a child of God?
Perhaps the people we meet are all cotton candies, and that there is nothing to forgive them about. If so, we must question ourselves this:
Are we really doing our part in becoming a witness for Christ?
If we really consider ourselves a true apostle we are bound to meet a certain degree of opposition or even hostility for what we believe in. None of the apostles throughout the ages escaped this. Even Jesus himself faced strong enmity from his own people and warns us that as His disciples, we are sure to have our share of His Cross (John 15:18-21).
So, how do we forgive someone who has hurt us severely? I probably could list down several ways but in the end, this is a choice that each of us must make individually.
If we are finding a hard time trying to forgive a person, seek help from someone of whom you are close to or are strong in faith; in other words, someone you know you can trust. To journey alone would be a long and dark path; though not impossible, it is a more difficult and painful road to take.
And last but not least, always remember that prayer greatly helps as our Father above hears His children and is pleased to help them come closer to Him. =)
When the storm is raging all around me
You are the peace that calms
My troubled sea
When the cares of this world
Darken my day
You are the light that shines
And shows me the way
Oh, the beauty of Your majesty
On the cross You showed Your love for me
Beautiful Lord
Awesome and mighty
I’m captured by this love I see
Beautiful Lord
Tender and holy
Your mercy brings me to my knees
It’s Your mercy that has made me free
Beautiful Lord
When my sin is all that I can see
Your grace remains the shelter that I seek
And when my weakness is all I can give
Your gentle Spirit gives me strength again
Oh, the beauty of Your majesty
On the cross You showed Your love for me
And I am lifted by Your love to sing!
It’s Your mercy that has made me free!
You’re beautiful, my Lord
You’re beautiful, my Lord
Beautiful Lord – by Leeland
“Blessed are those whom are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”
(Matthew 5:7)
RFG always.
