Today is Holy Thursday, a day whereby Catholics celebrate the institution of the Eucharist – that is, the breaking of bread (the Body of Christ) and the sharing of wine (His Blood). Due to my having a night replacement class, I was not able to participate in Church. However, I intended to at least do something to commemorate this holy day.
And so, yesterday I bought a packet of bread that would be my dinner this night, to simulate what Jesus had done with His disciples more than 2000 years ago. I also decided before taking my evening meal (which, by the way, consists of the packet bread and some sliced potatoes/fries), to go through the readings which would be said in Mass today.
As I went through the passages, I began to doubt my simulative action – that is, having bread for dinner. The first reading, taken from Exodus 12:1-8 and 11-14, felt unrelated and distant to what I was doing. In fact, even the other 3 passages did not immediately click as I read through them one by one.
I suppose the main reason for my apprehension was that I am not, after all, celebrating Mass with the rest of the congregation. I am not consuming the bread transubstantiated into the Body of Christ (only the priest is able to perform that) nor do I feel it right imitating that act. Not that eating bread for a change is wrong; I just did not see the point in my actions then. Nevertheless, after going through the 4 passages and closing it off with prayer, I decided to make do with the food I have without topping up with additional items.
As I sat down and took my meal, I kept thinking about the readings and of the Lord’s Supper. Within the quiet and stillness of the room, I became aware that I kept dwelling on the Word and the actions of God. I felt a certain calmness, as if the Lord had specially prepared me a place in His soothing Presence. Through the simple meal without any distraction, my thoughts remain focused on the Lord. I may not have participated bodily in His Church, yet I felt as though I had somehow shared in His Life during my dinner.
My actions may not have immediately connected nor do I think I fully comprehend them still, but in the end I counted this evening a fruitful one today. To me, nothing is more precious than being under the presence of the Lord.
