Have you ever had the experience of praying, yet not feeling in the mood
to pray? Although you tried, you just cannot put your heart in it? If so, do we
wait for an appropriate time until we feel motivated to pray? Or could it be a
sign that we are losing faith?
Sometimes, I feel there is not much I can do to improve my relationship
with God – rather, I should say I cannot think nor muster up anything to
improve my relationship with Him. There are periods when, after completing a
passage from the Bible, I am at a lost to pick up from there, and began to
think if I should spend my time on more “productive” actions.
Even as I sit here typing this out, I do not exactly feel inspired
to continue on writing. As a student of engineering,
the question of quality over quantity naturally comes into mind once in a while.
Recently I began to think in such terms during my nightly periods of spiritual reading
and contemplation. Should I just focus my all on the initial passage and, if
nothing else comes to mind, stop at there?
Last semester, I took my (compulsory) course of Introduction to Management, and in one of the topics
there was a particular phrase which holds significant value, which went along
this line:
“Drive is important – and equally
important is the ability to sustain the drive.”
The ability to sustain the drive – perseverance, which in other
words can also be translated as quantity.
While it is true that quantity – that is, the amount of time spent –
does not necessarily result in quality, it provides a stepping stone that
propels one to achieve better results. Occasionally, I tend to drift when I
study or conduct research, yet somehow those periods seem to play a role in my
passing of marks and work done. And after a while into the period, I was even
able to get past the ‘I cannot absorb anything’ phase.
Similarly, by having quantity, I believe that it will nourish my
faith and my relationship with God, even if I may not feel it so. For nothing
if set aside willingly to our Heavenly Father will go wasted. And, as with
other times, I believe that I will be able to move past the not-so-productive
stage and accumulate myself so as to give my all, with the guidance of Jesus
and the strength of the Holy Spirit.
As I list down my thoughts which no one (at least that I know) would
likely read, I believe that one day this record would strengthen me for the
better as I look back and ponder on the road which led me to where I am. The very fact that I have gone
through such periods will not only nurture my faith, but I believe it will also
aid me in other aspects of my life.
“Blessed is the man who endures trial,
for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life which God
promised to those who love Him.”
(James 1:12)
RFG
always.
