How ironic are men such as I
that they are capable of a worry to death
when those they hold close to heart do not respond for a while
yet when they are found to be safe and sound
anger and derision replaced their feelings
as their relief washes away.
My mum called in the evening today. When I answered,
there was no response from the other end, and I promptly dismissed the call
after two unreplied salutations and thought no more of it.
After two hours passed, I decided to ring
back my mum back on the reason she called. It was past 7.30pm then; usually she
comes back earlier, and she mentioned to me last night to cook rice for her and
my sister for dinner.
When I could not reach her after a few
calls, I started to get worried. After numerous attempted calls, my anxiety
increased tenfold and I started praying while restlessly wandering around the house.
For one, my area is not exactly safe – I have witnessed/experienced robbery/fights/assaults
at least seven times since I moved into my current residence.
When a red car finally emerged at the front
gate near 8pm, I was immensely relieved. Yet I was angry, and only a few
minutes passed before I regained my usual (and quite irritable) attitude. Later
my mum told me to bring in the laundry then but I objected as it was nearing my
prayer time.
When I went up to pray however, I felt
uneasy, and the thoughts mentioned in the opening came to mind. Was this how I
witness and show my gratitude to God for keeping my mum and sister safe and
well all this time? Was this the way I show my love towards my mum? Soon after
the verse of Matthew 5:24 floated to mind, I decided
to do what my mum asked of me before continuing prayer/devotion.
The saying ‘you’ll
never appreciate until they are really gone’ indeed holds true and made
me reflect upon my actions. Especially since I am not with my family most of
the time these days due to university life away from home, I should strive to make
what little time I have when I am back to make it worthwhile. It is something I
have a long way to go, and I pray that the Holy Spirit will inspire me to
constantly look to the Holy Family as the perfect model in this.
RFG
always.
