There are numerous occasions in my life when I do not have the mood to
pray, for some reason or another. Sleep spells that occasionally show up during
my prayer/contemplation hour, or coming back from a long day are some instances
which put a damper on me from communicating with God.
A recent case point was my plan to attend Saturday evening Mass suddenly
cancelled without a word. After walking a distance from my house to the meeting
point and waiting for approximately 40 minutes, I concluded it highly unlikely
that transport would show up, and thus made my way back to my room. I generally
spend at least an hour a day for prayer and contemplation on days when I do not
attend Mass; however, at that moment in time I briefly considered skipping this
round.
Under those circumstances, I keep telling myself to pray even if I do
not have the motivation to do so. The anger and irritation I feel, especially if
the plans made were related to my spiritual nourishment, makes it all the more
tempting to rebel with thoughts such as, “Since God
is stopping me from praying, I’m not going to bother then.”
That is exactly what the devil is after. He wants us to turn our backs
to God, to walk away in defiance and self-righteousness. The alluring exterior of
the fruit screams “Be independent and carve your
own path”; the rotten innards whisper “And
welcome to the pit of hell.”
In the same way the serpent seduced Eve to cut her relationship and dependence
on God, so does Satan intend to manipulate us, sometimes ever so subtly, to
slowly chip away our relationship with Him. There is a saying in the internet
that goes:
When you carry a Bible, the devil gets a headache.
When you open it, he collapses.
When he see's you reading it, he faints.
When he see's you're living it, he flees.
For me, those words are but a gullible midsummer’s dream. More likely:
When you carry a Bible, the devil brings
noise.
When you open it, he places shades on top.
When he see's you reading it, he whispers twisted
words.
When he see's you're living it, he calls for
backup.
How many of us have the Bible in our phones, or internet connections
where Scripture is merely a link away, but hardly ever pause to utilize it?
How many times have we opened our Bibles, with the intention to skim
through a random passage so that we can quickly attend to other matters?
How many Churches were split due to different beliefs and doctrines,
from supporting homosexuality right down to denying Jesus is God?
How many times have we experienced ourselves resolving to live a more
spiritual life, only to start cursing when crap happens right after?
It is especially during these trials that we are to persevere in our spiritual
devotion. It is easy to enthusiastically sing praise under the ideal setting of
good music, rousing speeches, a comfortable environment, surrounded by
wonderful people. The reality is that hiccups and bird droppings are common
occurrences in our everyday life, in some instances more than usual. Saint
Teresa of Avila on one unfortunate day was thought to have said to Jesus, “If this is the way you treat your friends, it’s no wonder
you have so few!”
Our Lord had warned of those who formed their hearts on rocky ground or
on thorns: that the seed that springs forth would wither in the mildest scorch,
or stunted without ever coming to bear fruit. Much harder it is to fill our
hearts with good soil, to clear the debris and remove the weeds before
planting. But just as well-graded fertilizers yield bountiful crop, the reward
of eternal life will surely await those who persevere in faith and prayer.
RFG always.
