I
am sure there are people like me who are fond of dwelling in their own
fantasies. There we are the protagonist, the main character in our story, to
which the fate of the world ultimately hinges upon. Sometimes, our fantasies
leak into the real world as well, when we start to think we are more special
than the people around us.
As
much as I would like to have it, the world simply does not revolve with me as
its centre. Whether I feel like I am better from the rest, justified in my
actions or right in my thinking, reality does not always turn out in my favour.
Nebuchadnezzar found that out dramatically in Daniel 3:14-28. And the Jews
could not stomach it in John 8:31-59.
It
is in a way the same for me. Postponing meetings, delaying work, grudging
replies…who has the most to lose? Ultimately to the world I am merely a cog in
the wheel, a nail in the pack – easily replaced. I may think highly of myself
and my worth, but that means as much as a grain in a sack of rice to society at
large. All the vindictive actions born from my desire to punish the other party
will only result in the real loser being me. For that brief moment in time,
though I may satiate my ego, I lose the trust and respect of those who put
their faith in me – and with it, my credibility as a witness to the Gospel.
Perhaps in my anger and frustration, I may have entertained such thoughts, like a self-righteous brat throwing a tantrum, but in the end, the hammer which
I intend to let fall will be less than a prick felt to society, and in hurting
God I hurt myself the most.
In
their discourse with Jesus, in John 8:33 the Jews refuse to admit they were
under the yoke of the Romans, closing their eyes to their history of captivity
and exile across numerous nations for their sins. Am I stubbornly going to
follow the same path of denying reality and refusing to confront my hardships?
Am I just going to sulk in a corner wallowing in self-pity? Or can I break out from my own world, pick myself up, look to the hope He brings, and persevere towards the light at the end of the
tunnel? That is ultimately for me – for each soul to decide.
RFG
always.