Fruitfulness in Simplicity

It has been quite a while since I last updated this place. It all started when I sent my PC for maintenance, while my laptop was screwed over after I sent it for cleaning. Since then I guess things started picking up after I came back from my (failed) job interview. Currently I am juggling with teaching Bible Knowledge classes, my part-time simulation work, my discipleship sessions with Adrian, job applications, self-taught courses, my story, meetings with Mormons and most recently my obsession with Alice Gear Aegis (I blame the latter on my discovery of the game code I found in the plastic model kit I bought).

I would like to move back a bit to reflect on the period when I had been devoid of my two PCs. This occurred during the time I was preparing for my job interview, and lasted another few weeks beyond. Unsurprisingly, at the beginning it was a rough time trying to adapt to a life where my only means of technology and internet accessibility was limited to my smartphone. Much of my data could not be retrieved, and I could not start my part-time work.

Yet, at least in the days leading up to my interview I would consider it one of my more productive days compared to when I had my PC. I had to dig out all my old records in order to revise through and prepare myself for the upcoming interview. And because there were no distractions of sitting in front of a computer, I could keep this up day after day. When I compare then to the amount of time burned recently watching Youtube and playing games, it almost feels like the two are separate persons.

This brings to mind the Love and Life camp I went back in 2009. At the start of the camp, we were forced to surrender our handphones, and many had voiced dissatisfaction (myself included). Yet by the end of the 7 days, there was a strong bond among the community, and I could say that more than a few wanted it to last longer. I could quite distinctly remember when the facilitators took out the box that held all of our phones, the room went quiet – not a person got up and rushed to the front. In contrast, a participant mentioned something which was then echoed by others – he doesn’t want to go back yet. Till today it was one of my most memorable camps, and takes first place in terms of cultivating interpersonal relationships. A significant portion I attribute that to the absence of opportunity fiddling with our tech devices.

Not too long ago I read an article announcing the winner of this year’s Global Techer Prize: Peter Tabichi. The science teacher cum Franciscan friar from Kenya was credited for his role in his school’s talent nurturing club and science club, with many of his students’ projects qualifying for both national and international events. In a remote village with a single school computer and poor internet connection, Peter still manages to use in ICT for the majority of his lessons, visiting internet cafes and caching online material for offline lessons. Today the fruits of his labour can be seen from his students and school’s achievements.

As I reflect on these events, I am reminded of the Parable of the Sower, specifically of the seed that grew amongst the thorns (Luke 8:14). I have been blessed with a wealth of material and technological facilities, of which many do not have at their disposal – yet with all the conveniences I inadvertently allowed the vines of distraction to entangle and choke me from fully growing and utilising my full potential. The PC breakdown was a harsh but good reminder to take a step back to simplicity once in a while, to be rid of all the trappings and distractions of life and focus on what truly matters.

RFG always.

PS: Since I will be starting my job in June, I expect I might be updating this blog more infrequently from now on. Shoutout to God for giving me my first job, even if it is not exactly my (personal) ideal.

Power, Presence and Paradox

It is almost staple in superhero movies that whenever the protagonists arrive to save the day, the crowd is quick to catch on. They sing songs, shower praises and fervently broadcast their powers and deeds. Yet very few know the person behind the gimmick.

In many biblical events too, God is shown to have manifested His power and glory in very visible ways: Exodus 19:16-20, 1 Samuel 12:18, 1 Kings 18:38-39 and Acts 2:2-3 are just some of the leaves on the tree. He did it for the benefit of the people, so that they may see and believe.

Yet when the Lord revealed Himself to His prophets and friends, He often did so in a seemingly unassuming manner. To Abraham God spoke to as a friend (James 2:23), Samuel He called 3 times (1 Samuel 3:3-10), to Elijah He came forth in a gentle breeze (1 Kings 19:11-13).

To me, these actions are quite profound. It shows that the mark of intimacy is not so much by the outstanding things a person shows us but by the deepest personal experiences he/she shares with us. For a person who puts to display his/her talents seeks to gain approval from others, but he/she who shares his/her innermost thoughts and ideas seeks to share his/her life with the other.

This goes to show how blessed I am, that God deemed me worthy that He had not to come in all of nature’s power but in quiet revelation. That He has judged me close enough to not require marvels to convince me to believe that He is God. I need not experience the Miracle of the Sun, the Miracle of Lanciano or the weeping/bleeding Marian statues to prop up my belief – all I need has already been given to me the moment my baptised self felt the redeeming grace of God and the coming of the Holy Spirit into my heart.

RFG always.

The Work That Goes Forth Will Not Return Empty

Been while since I last updated. I recently graduated from my Master’s programme in Engineering. I am really fortunate – I missed the deadline for the submission of my thesis by more than just a few days. Thank God the administration slotted my name for this year’s convocation, else I would only receive my scroll late next year.

After the ceremony, I met with a handful of the current as well as former members of the Catholic Students Society (CSS). I am quite grateful that a few took their time off that day to meet me, but one particular moment made for a quite a cherishable memory. After I was congratulated, the former president of the CSS, A (currently in his final year in degree) related to the others how we first met back when he just entered university.

During his first CSS meeting, one of the leaders that time spoke on a topic from the YOUCAT (Youth Catechism of the Catholic Church). After her sharing, I put forth a question: why should we go to Confession and declare our sins to the priest? The leader at that time could not provide a satisfactory answer, leading A to respond to the issue. Apparently he thought that I was a critic in need of instruction and guidance. After he finished speaking, I revealed that I was just testing their knowledge concerning the faith XD. That was when he thought to himself that something needs to be done for these people (in the university), thus starting his road down the CSS. In all my experiences at university, I felt that A’s generation was the most in line with the Church and her mission.

It was a little unexpected for me. While I could still recall that day, I had quite forgotten the topic of discussion, and I certainly did not expect it to have that much of an impact on anyone. It goes to show that even the little things we do may leave a significant impact on someone. Again I am reminded that everything we do for the Lord, no matter how insignificant it may seem will not return empty (Isaiah 55:10-11). As such, one should never dismiss a deed with the thought that it would not change anything. For with God, all things are possible.

RFG always.

A Feast for Sinners, Fit for Saints

Previously I dwelt on the issue concerning reverence during the Eucharist. Coincidentally (really!), I find it apt that the next post should be related to the previous write-up. Not too long ago I was reading a passage from the Gospel of Matthew, and I came to appreciate how beautifully linked Matthew 8:8 is to the Communion Rite. While I am aware that the verse is quoted just prior to receiving Communion since years ago when it was first introduced in the Mass by then Pope Benedict, my recent contemplations on the Eucharist have caused this piece to shine with greater radiance.

In Matthew 8:8, the verse reads, “But the centurion answered Him, ‘Lord, I am not worthy to have You come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant shall be healed.’” A few verses later, the same chapter continues in verses 10 and 11, “…‘Truly I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such faith. I tell you, many will come from east and west and sit at the table with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven,’” before proceeding to heal the said servant (13).

Taken as is, the events behind this passage may seem to have little relevance to the Mass. Looking deeper, the four verses foreshadowed the time when people around the world will unite and sit at the table of the Kingdom through the Eucharist. Today in every Mass, the priest raises the Body of Christ, pronouncing the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world; happy indeed are those who are called to the supper of the Lamb. Every time we eat the Bread and drink from the Cup, we are united, heaven and earth, since “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14). Consequently, we too are united with the saints who now dwell in Heaven sitting at the table in the Kingdom, linked by one Bread, one Body, under one Lord.

None of us by ourselves are worthy of entering the Kingdom of Heaven (Romans 3:23), yet God by His grace saved us through the faith we received (Ephesians 2:8). Fitting then, is the prayer said after the Our Father, right before the sign of peace and shortly before Holy Communion, “Look not on our sins but on the faith of Your Church…” For it is not merely our personal faith, but the faith handed down to us by the Apostles (1 Corinthians 15:1-3; Ephesians 2:20). It is a faith both personal and universal.

Recall the words of Jesus during the Last Supper, “‘This is my Body which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me,’” and “‘This cup which is poured out for you is the New Covenant in my Blood’” (Luke 19:20-21). These words are later echoed by St Paul during his exhortation in 1 Corinthians 11:24-25, and repeated today by the priest in every Mass before Holy Communion. It is by His Body and Blood poured out for us that we are saved. Like the centurion’s servant in Matthew 8:5-13 who was not present at Jesus’ side, we may not be able to see Jesus in His complete bodily form in this life, yet as the priest by proxy transforms ordinary bread and wine into the Real Body and Blood through transubstantiation, we too are healed as we partake in the Food that Christ provided through the hands of His anointed servants.

As we approach the altar during Holy Communion, let us constantly be aware that we are surrounded by a great cloud of witness, and that every time we partake in the Blessed Sacrament, we are partaking in the feast of Heaven on earth, eating the Food which gives life and heals our souls. The next time before we approach Our Lord to receive Him, let these words leave our lips in all sincerity, “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof but only say the word and my soul will be healed.”

RFG always.

ER: Eucharistic Reverence

Some time ago I had a short discussion with a university acquaintance concerning the rubrics of Mass, before the start of the celebration. The topic pertained to the genuflection at the altar, when we are to do so and when we are exempted from doing so. 

As we fleetingly touched on the sacrifice at the altar and transubstantiation, I was reminded on the reverence we are to show when handling the Eucharist. A while ago when we had Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, I remembered quite distinctly that the priest covered his hands with cloth as he held the monstrance that housed the Body of Christ. As the session went on I noticed a lady going up the altar and touching the monstrance with her bare hands, causing me to get a little disconcerted. For if the priest did not directly touch the monstrance with his bare hands during Adoration, how can the ordinary laity come up the altar and touch it?  Such is the reverence accorded to the Bread of Life in Adoration, that the priest who is consecrated for such task would not directly touch the monstrance that houses the Body – and a thought appeared, should not the same reverence be paid to the Host during weekly Communion?

For some time now, I have been pondering the debate between Communion on the hands or tongue. When I first set out on this study, I found that proponents for the Communion on hand often quote St Cyril’s instruction when justifying their argument:

“Approaching therefore, do not come forward with the palms of the hands outstretched nor with the fingers apart, but making the left [hand] a throne for the right since this hand is about to receive the King. Making the palm hollow, receive the Body of Christ, adding “Amen”.” [1]

However, if we are to go further:

“Then, carefully sanctifying the eyes by touching them with the holy Body, partake of it, ensuring that you do not mislay any of it. For if you mislay any, you would clearly suffer a loss, as it were, from one of your own limbs. Tell me, if anyone gave you gold-dust, would you not take hold of it with every possible care, ensuring that you do not mislay any of it or sustain any loss? So will you not be much more cautious to ensure that not a crumb falls away from that which is more precious than gold or precious stones?” [1]

A different acquaintance who is against the Communion on hands informed me that some particles remained in his hand during the period when he practiced this. I too started to notice bits of white on my palms after careful scrutiny. To address this, the Catholic Church stipulates that when the priest partakes of the Eucharist himself, after consuming the whole wafer he is to rub his fingers in contact with it into the chalice of wine, so as to prevent a single particle being wasted. Think about it: the priest, representing Christ at the altar, consecrated for the sacred task to minister the Host to the people, is required to go through meticulous lengths in handling the Bread – should we, the laity not at least show similar reverence in front of our Lord?

Even if we are to look into the Church position in this matter today, Memoriale Domini, which is the Instruction on the Manner of Distributing Holy Communion to the Sacred Congregation for Divine Worship:

“Later, with a deepening understanding of the truth of the eucharistic mystery, of its power and of the presence of Christ in it, there came a greater feeling of reverence towards this sacrament and a deeper humility was felt to be demanded when receiving it. Thus the custom was established of the minister placing a particle of consecrated bread on the tongue of the communicant.

This method of distributing holy communion must be retained, taking the present situation of the Church in the entire world into account, not merely because it has many centuries of-tradition behind it, but especially because it expresses the faithful's reverence for the Eucharist. The custom does not detract in any way from the personal dignity of those who approach this great sacrament: it is part of that preparation that is needed for the most fruitful reception of the Body of the Lord.[6]

This reverence shows that it is not a sharing in "ordinary bread and wine"[7] that is involved, but in the Body and Blood of the Lord, through which "The people of God share the benefits of the Paschal Sacrifice, renew the New Covenant which God has made with man once for all through the Blood of Christ, and in faith and hope foreshadow and anticipate the eschatological banquet in the kingdom of the Father." [2]

Observing more than a handful of Churchgoers who come forward during Communion, at times I catch myself wondering if these people are even aware that they are literally standing before the Lord, and that what they are consuming is truly the Body of Christ. Yet can I really fault them, when the shepherds themselves seemingly treat the Host with little regard? I have seen a priest carelessly pouring the Bread from the ciborium into the paten like water into a bowl. When some of the wafer inevitably falls onto the altar, he picks it up and places it back in a way I could expect from an adherent on Food’s 5-second rule. When a paten contains a disproportionate amount of pieces, he sweeps them over to the other patens with his hands in a way that makes me wonder if he is distributing or dismissing the Hosts. While these may sound exaggerated, I am not the only one concerned that the Eucharist is not given proper veneration, and I very much doubt that this issue is an isolated case within the Church.

“The Eucharist is the source and summit of Christian life.” [3] As such it is only right that one must show proper reverence for this most sacred Sacrament, starting from the way/mindset we receive Holy Communion. If anyone continues to object after being privy to the reasons given by the Church, he/she must ask himself/herself if it is an act of rebellion against something he/she simply does not want to do, or if his/her pride is stopping him/her from following the instructions. As Catholics, it is high time for us to return proper reverence back to Mass. For if we ourselves do not, no one else would.

RFG always.

*Certain statements bolded and underlined for added emphasis.

References
[1] St Cyril. “Catechesis Mystagogica.” Quoted by Davies, M. “Communion in the Hand and Similar Frauds.”
[2] Gut, B.W. “Memoriale Domini.” Acta Apostolicae Sedis, vol. 61, 1969. From https://www.ewtn.com/library/CURIA/CDWMEMOR.HTM
[3] “Catechism of the Catholic Church: Popular and Definitive Edition.” Burns and Oates: New York, 2010.

Church X Politics

For many devoted Christians, the Church is a place where people gather to participate in worship and fellowship with fellow believers. To some, it is also a moment of respite, a period where one could take a break from hustles of everyday life and the events around us. The second applies to me as well, and nothing would make me more content than to attend Mass, listen to the Word, be treated to a good exegesis, and partake in the Eucharist.

Thus a person reading this may hopefully understand why I am a little upset a few weeks back. It started with the lector accidentally reading of a different passage for the second reading. This becomes a little annoying, since the Church I frequent while here in university often uses three, sometimes four different languages to accommodate its diverse congregation of races, cultures and backgrounds. Hence the laity would have to rely on the projector screen if they do not understand what is being said. And while I could read the language displayed on the board, the voice of the lector was really distracting, since I also understood the language spoken.

Then came the homily – a really watered-down porridge concerning the passages of that day. These two issues – the accidental reading and the shallow homily – I can tolerate, but what really miffed me was the priest using the homily to bring in politics. While I understand you cannot separate Church from matters of the nation, to use it as a base to explicitly criticise a particular party is at best towing dangerously close to the red line in my opinion. Singling out and making jabs to certain individuals is touching or crossing it. But to promote a fund issued by the current ruling government and setting aside the week’s collection to channel into it? Now that is just way over the top.

What is more, this call to donate came not from any individual Church but was made by the bishop himself. To help save the nation, they put it. Are they saying that contributions towards the goverment takes precedence over the wellbeing of the people of God? Are they implying the Church does not do her part when she aids those through her charity work? Even if the Church feels obliged to help, could her leaders not just make an announcement at the end of Mass urging the laity to contribute? In this day and age, donating can easily be done comfortably at home in a click of a button or a tap in a screen. The justification that people are too lazy to write a cheque and bank it in is a poor excuse if you ask me.  

Not to mention the bishop has the audacity to quote 2 Corinthians 9:7 as a pretext, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” How is this donation in any way related to St Paul’s true intention for “the offering for the saints” (2 Corinthians 9:1)? And to top off the irony, the circular was signed out with the words “Together building God’s Kingdom.”

I will not start on the point that one should have a more thorough knowledge on both sides before making judgments in this post. Even taking all the issues at face value and true, actions such as these are what cause the Catholic Church to gradually loose its direction as from God-focused to human-centric. Her members become so sensitive to the voice of the world that they loose sight of what is most important in this life and the next. They become more concerned and up-to-date about what a party leader says than showing proper veneration in Mass, where the Lord is truly present. Many who grew up Catholic do not even know/believe in the Real Presence in the Eucharist, yet are likely to identify what this/that leader said/did.

I leave a leave these two verses for those reading this to pause and consider, should there ever be a time when you have to make a similar choice:

“But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; but only one is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken away from her.’”

(Luke 10:41-42)

RFG always.

Post-submission Lethargy

After more than 3 years of effort, I have by the grace of God finally submitted my thesis to the postgraduate department. Currently I am awaiting my VIVA, to which, in the event I manage to pass, I will be graduating with a MSc in Engineering by this year.

It has been a few weeks since I handed in the necessary forms and hardcopy drafts. During this period of time, I have been more or less doing…well, basically nothing. Perhaps nothing is not quite the right word: I have hardly been doing anything meaningful or productive. Not counting the daily necessary activities (eating, sleeping, etc.), the majority of my time is spent on reading comics, watching Youtube, and playing games. There are still some journal papers to prepare, but the amount of work I put into them effectively made up less than 5 hours in total.

This is not the first time I have gone through this. A similar situation happened during my first 4 months semester break in Undergraduate. At that time I vaguely remember telling myself I would efficiently utilise it for writing my personal fiction or something of that sort. As can be guessed, it never worked out.

If there is one thing I learned from this and my previous experience, it is that such idleness leads to dangerous sinful activities. The fact that I long for something that will stimulate my mind, yet refuse to muster the effort to do anything often results in me whiling away my time on random clips which are hardly any use in adequately building up my knowledge in anything worthwhile. Even worse, I start indulging in morally questionable acts, to which I am clearly aware they are beginning to interfere with even my prayer/contemplation time.

Sometimes I wonder, what will it take to inspire me to get out of this stupor. Nothing I try seems to be able to hold my attention for long, or give me enough of a reason to pursue it. Heck, I am currently too lazy to even watch anime or continue reading my list of visual novels! Just how much of a slob can one person get? There are moments when I attributed it to the financial situation I am in, but that is such a poor excuse when I look at the conveniences and comfort God has showered me with even as I write this.

Now I wonder, whether the piece I am missing is proper companionship. Not a romantic one, just any normal relationship where I can freely talk to. Or better yet, one which shares the same interest in games, culture and theology. In my institution, I am almost always alone in the room, with an occasional visitor now and then. The only one who I constantly interact with is my PC.

But how can I find such a person? It is not as though I have not tried before; most who I reach out to do not reciprocate more than one reply. Admittedly, all of them are through online messaging. And I am no extrovert, nor do I have the means to spend freely with my very limited savings. At times I wish someone would magically appear just like it happens in manga.

Or maybe I should focus setting goals for myself and listing them out. Just that it does not seem to work as well as the times when I was in high school or college. I wonder why? Am I really losing motivation I life? Nothing truly worth living for?

Anyways, I guess I should cease my ranting now and actually put in more effort to find something worthwhile to do.

RFG always.

*Contemplation written a few weeks after 31 March 2018.