Ever felt like trolling when something unpleasant shows up in life? I am
sure many face(d) it when, just after vowing to become a better person, crap
bangs the door and immediately all our noble aspirations suddenly flew from our
minds.
Crap happens – as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be,
until the world ends. It is not as though I do not have a share in it. Take this
month for example. During Chinese New Year
(which fell on a Sunday), I woke up at 5 in the morning, prepared myself for
Church and arrived at the bus stop only to end up waiting until 7 for less than
peanuts.
I cannot say I did not feel at least slightly irritated, and as I made
my way back to my residence, less than admirable thoughts entered my mind which
went along the lines, ‘I woke up early, but God
doesn’t want me to go to Church; so I don’t care.’
It is during those times I should remind myself, am I truly living the
faith I have? Or am I living it only at my convenience?
Having faith and living it are two different sides of the same coin. Even
when no one is physically in the vicinity to hear my inner complaints, the
spite which continues to linger wears and may even corrupt the mind, if dwelt
on excessively. Nothing beneficial ever comes in being preoccupied with
negative thoughts. On the contrary, they may one day leak into our thoughts and
actions, and blatantly surface during trying times, without our awareness or
meaning to.
Ultimately however, the thoughts I had were addressed to God. Even as I
try to deny and direct this thought to nobody in particular, it is just like muttering
complaints to myself about a person while still within his earshot. Even when
the person knows we do not mean it and only said thus in the heat of the
moment, it is not easy to let go of what was said.
The future promises to hold in store greater trials of life, and we all
have to go through ours, like it or not. As for me, I will continue to pray that
I will be able to grow during those times, consciously reminding myself to walk
the path Jesus took whenever I am faced with such trials. May this Lenten season be a fruitful time of spiritual maturing
for all through the denial of the physical pleasures in life.
RFG always.
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