The Prick of Prayer

As part of my daily life, I make it a habit to regularly pray throughout the day. As Christians, everything we do ought to be offered up in to the Lord: be it before meals, studies or gaming sessions. In fact, our whole lives are meant to be lifted up in prayer – however, for this post, ‘prayer’ will be taken as the direct action of addressing, talking or invocating something from God.

Although prayer is essential for spiritual growth, often I struggle to do so in certain aspects of my life, particularly before study and games/entertainment activities. Looking at the surface, one may find it quite astonishing how difficult it is for me just to set aside a moment to ask God to bless and watch over me during these two major activities which make up a large portion of my life. While I would not label it so far as to call it loathing, it certainly feels like a drag whenever I am reminded (by the Spirit) to pray.

Do I know the reason for my reluctance at this? Actually, I do – and quite clearly if I may add. But knowing and overcoming it are two different things, no? Put it simply, I enjoy my comfort. And since humans are creatures of comfort, we avoid activities/putting in energy that makes is uncomfortable (as mentioned previously in my post on 23 December 2014. Man, I got to limit referencing this post).

When I pray, I know that God would give me the strength to carry out my prayer – and that is what I am reluctant for. Ironic eh? It is somewhat akin to the feeling one gets when signing a contract. You are bound to it, and you know you will have to accomplish it, like it or not.  The responsibility of keeping to what I vowed to do may not exactly be pleasant though, and can be actually quite a pain.

To put it expressly, prayer of this sort opens my eyes to the cross. The responsibility to give my all in that endeavour and dedicate it to God. The effort I have to put in to overcome that obstacle. And of course, the prospect of going on the journey carrying such a burden is not what I would call pleasant.

So maybe people reading this may have some idea why prayer before studies/work is quite trying for me, but games? In fact, to pray is harder for me before play. The reason is similar. Gaming/recreation is a time of the day in which I look most forward to. While one cannot (probably) question the enthusiasm I have in front of the keyboard, I have the tendency to be enticed by other less noble/questionable activities from too much net and games. But perhaps more prominently, is the responsibility of keeping gaming in moderation and not succumb to the “one more game” syndrome.

While a common and easy thing for Christians to say is to “pray for the strength to overcome the challenges”, I would like to share a method which I find quite effective for me personally, as a reminder for myself, and mayhap a suggestion to anyone who somehow happens to pass by this post.

As Christians may be aware, this is currently the season of Lent (although it is the final week, termed Holy Week). For Catholics, this season marks a time of fasting, almsgiving and charity. Thus, it is a perfect opportunity for us to build ourselves up spiritually by living in simplicity and attuning ourselves to be more receptive towards God.

A few weeks into the Lenten season, instead of having some semi-opaque aim of what to do, I decided to draw up a list of items to fast. Perhaps due to my engineering background, I found having the set of specific and concrete objectives made it more achievable and motivating. From there I gradually worked through the list, beginning from several items and increasing the count at least once per week.

Some may find various issues with this method, asserting that this reduces the spiritual dimension of fasting into a worldly/rational one and such. But for me, the physical and spiritual are interrelated, since both are brought into existence by God. The idea is that since I have been through this before, it will be easier to keep up this practice of prayer and moderation. As they say, the best way to learn/grow is to experience the real thing yourself. And besides, Lent is called a fasting season for a reason. Just as God rested on the seventh day (Genesis 2:2), one does not fast 365 days per year, 24 hours per day.

At the end of the day though, all this depends on one’s sincerity. There is little point if I pray devoid of any thoughts to improve myself. If there is one thing I want to bring back from this endeavour, it is a greater earnestness of depending and surrendering this life to Him who knows and plans what is best for me.

RFG always.

Musings: Sacrifice

Awhile back when I was reading a topic from Life of Christ by the late Fulton Sheen, I came across a passage which made quite an impression on me. In that particular subtopic, the author focused on the purpose of Christ’s coming – that is, to suffer, die and rise again.

Any Christian would agree that is the essence of Jesus' mission. Religious artists occasionally base their pieces on one or more of its elements. One of Hillsong’s older works For All You’ve Done included all the three elements: You lived, You died, You rose again on high.

No one likes to talk about suffering. I mentioned before in a post that humans are creatures of comfort. As the Fulton Sheen put it, we welcome the glorified, but shun the suffering Christ. Additionally, people tend to avoid the subject of sacrifice, since real sincere sacrifice entails suffering on its part.

Still, there is no dispute that we all have to have sacrifice in our lives. One would have to give up something in order to gain another. An employee sacrifices his/her time for money. Students grind their notes and exercises wee hours into the night in hopes of getting good results. Rather, the question is the matter of which we would sacrifice.

Which brings me to the point of my rumination. Christ made it clear that “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). At this point in time however, I am aware of the sacrifice and cross bearing I am going through for His sake – which is to say, practically nil. Could be the mark of how blessed I am. Or that my daily prayers “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” are answered. However, it does not remove this uneasiness I feel.

None of the saints I have come across have not felt the pinch of sacrifice and suffering. Moses, David, Elijah, Peter, John, Paul, Therese, Mother Teresa, John Paul II…and here I am, all comfy with my life at university in front of a computer and countless other conveniences, unless you count losing at games and the postponement of my Masters application. Does not sound remarkably profound if you ask me.

Is it not disquieting? Christ is the only doorway to salvation. We cannot follow Him unless we are willing to sacrifice and take up our cross. Put it another way, unless we are willing to sacrifice for His sake, we will not be able to enter His Kingdom. Where does that leave us then? Catholics might suggest Purgatory. But even so, it is written:

“Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble – each man’s work will become manifest; for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed through fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work which any man has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If any man’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.” 

(1 Corinthians 3:12-15)

Mark the words, “If any man’s work.” But if we have not even started on the cross, what work did we do? It will neither be gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay or stubble – it will be nothing. Nothing will be burned up, and we will not suffer loss, for we ourselves are lost. Is it not then more likely then, to assume that those who did not sacrifice and take up their cross are destined down the road of Hell?

Perhaps it is really time for me to take some time to ponder earnestly on what my cross is to be, and the strength to confront it when it is revealed to me – especially since this is the season of Lent.

RFG always.

Musings on Eternal Life

A note to anyone who is reading this: I am not presenting or assuming to unravel the mysteries of Heaven in this post. This is purely my musings and was written with no conscious effort to leave behind any lesson to be learned, spiritually or morally.

I sometimes find myself wondering what happens to those who have physically left the world. I am sure I am not the only person with this thought. Preachers of all religions repeatedly affirm that, to put simply, when we die, the good go to Heaven and live happily ever after; while evil people go to Hell and suffer for eternity. Finish, end of story, close the book – that is how they usually end it.

Yet is that really the final finale? Pastors hardly (if ever) talk in detail what happens in the afterlife – perhaps rightfully so. After all, we are told not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34); and this is already taking it to the next life. Anyway, what good will come about discussing a vague and elusive subject on the afterlife? What lessons can we extract from this intellectually exhausting exercise?

Still, along the way a curious soul will ask, “Hey, what do you suppose we will do when we are in Heaven?” Perhaps the reply will be, “Living in peace and praising God with for eternity.” If the question is taken a step further, “How so?” I wonder what will the response be?

I believe this is where the Church – in particular the Catholic Church – would be able to provide some insight. Occasionally when we pray, we follow it through with a Hail Mary or an intercession of some well-known Saints. These brothers and sisters have gone before us and are now dwelling in the presence of our Lord in Heaven, receiving our prayers and laying them at His feet.

For me, this brings to mind a vast organisational network working to process various documents. Each time we ask a saint to intercede for us, it feels in a way as though we approach our superior for a word/letter of recommendation.

If we are made in God’s image and likeness, I think it is legit to assume that we, to a certain degree would function in similar fashion as He. Accordingly, the way we organise, distribute and handle tasks likely reflects that in Heaven.

When we make a prayer to a patron saint – say, Saint Joseph for our travels – it could be that, given the authority and jurisdiction over that area, he will utilise what means at his disposal to protect us during our journeys. Some – Mother Mary for example – may also be assigned roles that requires direct communication in order to deliver the messages from God (see the Transfiguration; google Our Lady of Fatima).

For the 12 Apostles, the first who had left everything to follow Him, Jesus had said to them, “In the new world, when the Son of Man shall sit on His glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the tribes of Israel” (Matthew 19:28). Note, they do not merely sit with their rewards in eternal life (Matthew 19:29) but because they have been tried and passed through fire, they have received their reward along with a great honour and responsibility of ruling the nations.

Well, we now (or at least for myself) have a satisfactory explanation of major saints and the Apostles and their work in Heaven. What then, of the others? What of the unnamed saints, those whose deeds are comparable amongst the greatest saints, or those who have not achieved such feat in their earthly life but are nevertheless saved through the very same grace of God? What of those who, reversing the action of the servant in the Luke 19:23, placed the money in the bank for an interest?

It is not difficult to imagine saints working with or under one another, just as on earth the Church has its hierarchy with people having different but complementary roles. A town cannot function without a mayor, and a mayor cannot function without subordinates. Even once we receive our heavenly bodies, I doubt one will be able to macro and micromanage a town by himself/herself, much less an entire nation – that can said to be on par with God already. Nay, rather it would make more sense if saints in charge of that town would have other saints to assist him/her in running its operations.

From the Parable of the Talents, the Lord related those who have achieved much for the Kingdom, “You shall have authority over ten cities (Luke 19:17).” Deriving from this parable, if 10 pounds = 10 cities, and 5 pounds = 5 cities, should the third servant stored his single pound in the bank and received back an interest of 5%, he would be in charge of 5% of a city. This percentage one can view it as a building or an organisation in the city; nevertheless, it is but an element of a bigger picture. A central person/body is still required to manage the city as a whole, as both the building and city are dependent on each other for growth.

Even if we were to take Matthew’s version of the parable, it is said to the faithful servant, “I will set you over much” (Matthew 25:21, other versions translate it as God will put us in charge of many things). Why would we need to be set over much after we enter into glory, unless we will still have duties and responsibilities in the life after? Why would God put us through this life with all its challenges and responsibilities, if we do not need these values and experiences later? After all, out Lord did mention in Luke 16:11, “If then you have not been faithful in unrighteous mammon, who will entrust you with true riches?” This leads me to hypothesise that our responsibilities on Earth is to prepare us for similar responsibilities in Heaven.

Now that I think about it, this way of deduction makes it appear that our life on earth will not be so very different from the one God has for us in heaven. The great hope however, is that we will be united with our brothers and sisters, worshipping God directly in His presence and in prefect love. Just as how it was in the beginning before sin entered the world, when Adam dwelled directly within God’s presence in the Garden of Eden. As man was made steward on earth, so we may be stewards of God in the next life. Perhaps that was why Scripture recorded mankind having a lifespan up to nearly a thousand years, alluding to their role as eternal caretakers in God’s Kingdom.

I would like to repeat again what I initially said about this post being my personal musings and may not reflect the Church’s stand. It may well be that with my very limited comprehension of God, I may have shot way off the mark. For myself however, it presents a satisfactory answer of the life awaiting me when I reach my heavenly inheritance in the Kingdom.

RFG always.

The Cold or the Comfort?

Humans are creatures of comfort. We tend to get attracted to things that will entertain or bring some form of pleasure in our lives. Given a choice, many of us would rather sit around and laze away if the alternative is to face the workload in front of us (say, studying for example).

Such situations I encounter a lot in the Christian community, Catholic and non-Catholic alike. We want the benefits, but not the struggle that must come with it. This is the reason why I believe the majority of Christians are only so in their identification certificate. Even those who profess themselves a devoted/practicing “Christian” (myself included) oft times shirk away from our Great Commission which Christ Himself commanded us.

Yet this should not be so, especially concerning our Faith. Those who aspire to great heights will only reach it if they are willing to leave their comfort zone. Most of us will be able to relate to the scenario: putting our blood, sweat and tears in an activity. The frustrations and hardships endured; all of it became worthwhile the moment we accomplished our goal. Be it winning a competition, acquiring that item we so longed for, getting a promotion, acing our exams, or even finishing a game in hard mode without cheats – we recall fondly the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment when passing those obstacles.

The same goes for the path of being a true practicing Christian. After all, nobody gets inspired by dispassionate people who shut themselves in the room all day long. Those who display high personal principles may be respected, but rarely move others to action. Only individuals who reach out to others are capable to effectively motivate those around them.

Take the book of Revelations. It is a book that has been widely highlighted for its prophetic events on the end of times. Yet it also speaks a message that is much closer to home – a message which, coincidentally, can be applied to the Church today.

In Revelations 10:8-11:

Then the voice which I had heard from heaven spoke to me again, saying, “Go, take the scroll which is open in the hand of the angel who is standing on the sea and on the land.” So I went to the angel and told him to give me the scroll; and he said to me, “Take it and eat; it will be bitter to your stomach, but sweet as honey in your mouth.” And I took the scroll from the hand of the angel and ate it; it was sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it my stomach was made bitter. And I was told, “You must again prophesy about the many peoples and nations and tongues and kings.”

This was the message John received in his dream; yet the command of the message is meant for all, as we are all called to be messengers for God. Will we withhold the Word because it turns our stomach to preach it? We know that the Gospel we have received brings joy, eternal life and glory; we also know that its compensation is suffering, persecution and perhaps even death. We love the sweet taste of redemption, and recognise the Word we speak carries the sweetness of the Promise; but we despise the bitterness of the message, and fear the bitterness the world feeds back to its herald.

We are afraid, but we often overlook that the receiving party may just as well be as afraid as us. We often equate “the world” with sin, yet all of us are given the breath of life by God (Genesis 2:7), and that “all thing were made through Him” (John 1:3). Everyone and everything possess a part of God in them. People may support masturbation, but how many would actually fiddle their privates in public the moment they spot a guy/girl that turns them on? Deep down most of us I believe are aware of our sin, thus we try to hide the act and bury our conscience.

Yet, as the late archbishop Fulton Sheen wrote in his book ‘Life of Christ’: sin has to be confronted before salvation can be obtained. If one refuses to face his/her fears, how can he/she expect to reach the summit? Life is not a game which can be hacked, especially concerning the road of redemption. One has to pierce through the many layers of transgression before the waters of grace are free to flow.

Sometimes the call of faith may not be delivered as a soft and gentle breeze, as in the case of our Lord’s tactful discourse with the Samaritan woman in John 4:5-42. Under certain situations we may be forced to adopt a more direct and aggressive stance – a bitter medicine for the recipient indeed. Christ was no exception: for instance when He drove the traders from the Temple. As a result, the authorities “sought to destroy Him” (Luke 20:47). His is the life of hostility from the world, from His birth even until this day. And if they persecute our Lord, be sure that we who live in Him will be persecuted as well (John 15:20).

“How sweet are Thy Words to my taste!” (Psalm 119:103) But will we bury the message beneath our fears of the world, or will we rise up and share the life-giving words with others? Will we be able to stand firm in our faith no matter the occasion? Should the time of trials reach our doorstep, may we remember and hold on to these words of our Lord:

“Blessed are you when men…persecute you…on my account…for your reward is great in Heaven.”

(Matthew 5:11-12)

RFG always.

PS: I will like to take this sentence and wish whoever is reading this a very blessed Christmas season in the Lord. May He find us worthy to dwell under the roof of His stable.

Incredible Incredulity (Anime Allegory 2)

Sometimes I wonder whether there are people who give up searching for God, simply because they tried and failed to visualise and comprehend the vastness of His glory. It is not easier to give up rather than chasing something you realise you can comprehend less than a tiny drop in the sea?

How can we fathom the greatness of God? Throughout history painters and theologians have repeatedly tried to capture the image of God, yet all their works fall short in adequately portraying His glory.

When the Lord commanded Saint Faustina Kowalska to paint an image of the Divine Mercy, the woman herself was so disappointed with the artist’s piece she cried, “Who will paint You as beautiful as You are?” (Faustina, 2003). Even Saint Thomas Aquinas, perhaps the most famous theologian of his time, was quoted saying, “All that I have written seems like straw to me” (Davies, 1993), and ceased writing his Summa.

Imagine being under the dome of a palace, which is dwarfed by the mountain, which is dwarfed by the sea, which is dwarfed by the sky, which is dwarfed by space. And in the end trying to fathom what is greater than space, 1 Kings 19:12-13 comes in. I once tried to fathom the splendour of God with the sound of thunder, drumroll and cymbals; what I received from heaven’s choir was singing voices which blew past all forms of music. When I tried to imagine the glory beyond the stars and galaxies, the image of a sepia-like oil painting like those you find adorning walls come to mind: very akin to the picture of the upper room of the last supper.

Source: http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/097/1/6/the_upper_room_by_radojavor-d4vcn8p.jpg. Note this is not the exact image visualised.

Many people, when they find that their work outshone by others, simply choose to give up and adopt the “shoganai” (it cannot be helped) attitude, abandoning their pursuit for the top. If they act as such amongst their peers, what more about the infinite divine? If we are discouraged in chasing after what is humanly possible, what then of the calling to exceed that which is humanly possible?

I have been following the Japanese anime and light novel Log Horizon recently. A bit on the series: the story takes place whereby ordinary human players are trapped in a world similar to the online game (MMORPG), Elder Tales they were playing.

In that world, humanity (as they see it) is divided into 2 main groups: Adventurers (human players stuck in the MMORPG along with their Avatars and in-game skills); and the People of the Land, who are the native inhabitants of the world, previously termed as non-player characters (NPCs). As the story progresses, it was revealed that the People of the Land were more than just pre-programmed NPCs they were when Elder Tales was still game – they were just as human as the Adventurers are. Likewise, the People of the Land viewed the Adventurers as a powerful (and also potentially threatening) group with military and technological might leagues surpassing them (as an example: the knights of the People of the Land average around level 30, while half of the Adventurers were at level 90).

Over the course of the series, Lenessia, a princess of the People of the Land, began to discover that, not only their battle and technological prowess, the Adventurers’ behaviour and intelligence far exceeded what she imagined. For instance, she was amazed that every Adventurer understood battle tactics, and do not have a caste system like her people. Part of the series deals with her lamentation of not being able to comprehend the strength and customs of the Adventurers.

Lenessia musing over the Adventurers’ potential (source: Log Horizon, episode 18).

In a sense, I feel that I can somewhat relate to this story. Just as the People of the Land represent the original inhabitants of the world and the Adventurers gamers-cum-heroes that came down from the sky, we are the people living on Earth while the God and His heavenly host reign above in Heaven. How can we hope to fully comprehend Him whose strength and intelligence infinitely exceeds us? When we cannot even grasp the things of this world, how can we hope to grasp the things in Heaven and the One who created them all?

In response to this, we can either choose to let it all go, leaving behind all the responsibilities that come with it; or, like Lenessia and Rundelhaus (another character in Log Horizon) we can continually pursue that which is beyond our grasp, leaving our comfort zone in order to understand, imitate our lives as closely as possible, and hopefully one day come to be united in Heaven with God along with our brothers and sisters – as Rundelhaus, a People of the Land came to be an Adventurer by striving follow the path of an Adventurer.

The Glory of the Lord exceeds the highest Heavens (Psalms 113:4). Yet even we, a mere shadow of His image may have a share in that glory, if we ceaselessly continue to pursue Him. Through this, even if we may not comprehend it, we will one day come to discover and appreciate the fullness contained in that “drop” of water in the vast sea. And, just as a drop of water mingled becomes a part of the whole sea, so to our pursuits in Him contain the fullness of God’s glory: 

 “Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake in the one bread.”

(1 Corinthians 10:17)

RFG always.

REFERENCES:

Davies, B. (1993). The Thought of Thomas Aquinas. New York: Clarendon Paperbacks.

Faustina, M.K. (2005). Diary: Divine Mercy in My Soul. Stockbridge: Marian Press.

Why do I Believe What I Believe?

Looking back (in life and in post), I never really gave much thought in addressing what I feel are basic questions all Christians should be able to answer. To be honest, this area is something I am quite lacking in. If someone were to abruptly ask about my faith, I would probably not be able to provide a satisfactory answer immediately. Thus I would like to address one basic question that all Christians should be ready to answer: “why do you believe what you believe”. This question I will address as a believer in God, as a Christian, and as a Catholic. And, keeping in mind it is a basic question, I will try to phrase it as simple as possible in my personal experience.

First, I believe because of faith. When I began to take my religion more seriously back during my last two years in secondary school, I started to spend quite some time on the Bible. Particularly in concerning the New Testament books Luke and Acts, I was able to memorise the passages (those two were to appear in my final exams/competitions). Before long I became known as the “Bible genius” among my school’s Christian society.

One day, a classmate posed to me a question, “If there is a God, why does He allow so many innocent people to suffer?” To which I responded, “How should I know?” This brief exchange left quite a mark on me even now; not because of the question but the way I answered. I realised then that I was not ready to give an appropriate defence for my belief.

Since that event I began to seek answers to questions about Catholicism. What are proofs of God’s existence? Why do we have a Pope? Why do we pray to Mary? Why is contraception banned? And of course, the question which I was asked by my classmate then (there are many others, but I think I will end the list here).

As I continued to examine deeper into my religion, I began to discover more of its teachings as well as the meaning behind them, and became convinced through what I learned. History, science, philosophy and whatnot – these studies pointed me to the truth and marvels of God and His works.

As well as the knowledge I gained through study, there were also my personal experiences: revelations and miracles to which He in His grace blessed me to witness. The gift of tongues. The choir of angels. Dreams that foreshadowed the future. Visions collectively shared by the community. Undertakings with all the necessary arrangements pre-prepared. Etcetera etcetera. Since they may sound remarkably contrary to common logic, I do not expect the majority of people to believe what I say; nevertheless, those events surely strengthened my conviction Catholicism.

For me, faith is the belief in the things that is true, even if there is no solid proof. The belief that it will (definitely) happen even if it has yet to take place. The factual and personal experiences led me to why I believe what I believe: that is, faith.

Second, I believe because of hope. Less definite than faith perhaps, but no less important. To me, hope is the belief that it will happen, even if I do not know it will turn out that way. While it is not certain, I look forward to a favourable outcome.

Putting it in crude analogy, faith is like tossing a coin, knowing the coin will always be heads, even when there seem to be an element of uncertainty in the toss. It could be that both sides of the coin show heads. It could be the person who tosses is a professional who always tosses at the right amount of force in an environment. We do not know. All we know is that it will be a head, even if it seem like it will/may not be so.  Hope, on the other hand, is tossing a coin, not knowing whether it will be heads or tails, but looking forward to it being heads. The result can be a head, but it can also be a tail.

Like faith, hope is something intangible and cannot be seen physically. To some, the word may even sound foolish. Why should we believe in something we ourselves are not sure of? Yet when people hear of oppression, violence, disasters and such like, they become discouraged, de-sensitised. For people who live in such environment, it is even worse. Even for those whose condition is not as extreme, failing in studies, breaking of friendship and bullying can drag us down and make it feel like the end of the world.

God never said that life will be a breeze the moment we believe in Him. What He promise however, is that He will always be with us and will ever forsake us. His being there with me is what keeps me going. And by moving forward I may be able to influence and change the environment I am in.

Hope is the belief in a better future. I cling onto the hope there will be a better tomorrow, that God will provide a better tomorrow.

The final point to my belief is love. This one word is abstract, and holds multiple meanings. It could mean affection for one another, romantic/sexual feelings, attachment, benevolence and so on. They are not wrong; all of them are subsets of love. Caring and placing one’s well being above own can also be used to describe love – this is the definition I will use to expound on.

All human beings yearn to feel appreciated and cared, and to know that they are so physically, mentally and spiritually. No one in this world can truly say he lived a fulfilled life if he /she has not experience this. It is human nature; in fact everything that exists must interact with one another in some way. As they say, “no man is an island.”

Throughout the years, God has shown me He cares. Not only through the Cross and major one-off scenarios but also through my everyday life: the little blessings that fall like drizzle from the sky; not really memorable but impactful nonetheless. My laptop for work and entertainment. Good cheap food in the area. The ability to wake up and make it in time before class starts. Considerate and compatible people I somehow seem to always meet. Family still alive and well. Ordinary as they seem, when I sit back and reflect upon it, they are truly events which shaped my life to what it is today.

There are also times when things do not initially turn out the way I wanted, I cursed, sulked and raged like a spoilt child; and in the end God made it turn out the way I wanted. Many a time, they were as trivial as losing in a game, slower-than-usual internet connection, or setbacks in assignments. It is times like this when I think back, I realise how much God cares about every aspect in my life – spiritually, emotionally and physically. Through this, I know He loves me in a very real way.

When the three elements of faith, hope and love come together, it provides me a sense of inner peace. This peace is not something the world can give. It is not a peace that can only be obtained if there is no corruption, hostility, violence, or wars. It is not a peace that can be achieved through wealth, power or human relationships. Rather, it is a peace that, even should any or all those factors be missing, there is still – and always will be, something in life worth living/dying for. Whatever the situation may be, with the three elements in harmony I will always have the calmness and confidence to go through life.

So there it is: the reason why I believe what I believe. Because it showed, and continues to show me faith (I believe in what is true), hope (I believe in a better future) and love (I was cared for spiritually, emotionally and physically).With these three elements thus result in inner peace which the world cannot give.

RFG always.

PS: initially I wanted this to be something short and simple; turned out to be another one of my lengthy post again ><.

Blessed Birthday

I am truly blessed: on my birthday I had the day with classes, received first a low test result, two quizzes and then a test. No, I am not implying sarcasm, contrary to how it sounds. Allow me to recount the day in the following paragraphs.

On my birthday I woke up at the 0618 hour, as I usually do during days when I have lessons at 0800. I had more or less forgotten about my birthday, having a test and a quiz to worry about in the afternoon. The week was the assignment and test week, and had me up from early morning until past midnight for the past few days. It was not until my dad and a friend messaged me that I recalled it was my special day.

I was the first to arrive to Construction Project Management (CPM) class in the morning, before ten minutes before 0800. There, my first blessing awaited me: my former Head of Department and lecturer commended for my punctuality and hinted about bonus marks for those who are make it on time. Throughout the period, only half the students attended that subject.

After the lecturer left came the second blessing: a surprise quiz conducted by his general assistant (GA). Those who were not present obviously missed out the credits from it, yet none of us really studied or went through our notes for CPM, seeing it was our test and assignment week after all. Then, voila, the GA literally revealed the answers for each of the questions in the quiz. Not very ethical perhaps, but anyway. Thus, free marks secured.

The third blessing was that I managed to acquire a group member in order to carry my CPM project. The same goes for my Ocean and Coastal Engineering (OCE) project – making that my fourth blessing, which came during OCE period, right after CPM. Both the group members are different, yet they are course mates who I can get comfortably along with.

After the morning lessons were over, I headed back for quick lunch before studying for my quiz and test. At 1500 hour, I head to class to take the quiz in OCE. Before the quiz started, I received back my OCE assignment and test results. I did satisfactorily for my assignment, but my test marks were horrible. After some checking, I found some sections were not marked correctly or overlooked. I conveyed this to the OCE GA, and my marks went from 30/40 to 37/40. Thus, that became my fifth blessing.

My sixth blessing: I could do the quiz. Even with last minute studying (since the coming test was given higher priority), the questions were manageable. And, as with the first quiz, the GA provided us some guidance (though not as blatantly) throughout the quiz.

After the quiz, I left for another building to sit for my Offshore Structures test. I had one hour to revise before the test began, so I managed to revise and discussed some of the issues and problems with my course mates. Then came my test, and the seventh and final blessing which I will mention here: I could do my test. I managed to complete it 20 minutes or so before the given time. This allowed me to check and correct a minor error I found in my calculation. Thus, I am quite satisfied when I handed in my paper.

I truly am thankful that all those events took place on my birthday. The Lord had prepared it so that, as my present, He would take those events and turn it to my credit. Even if I were given the opportunity, I will not have any of the events that had taken place to be changed. Those activities were truly blessings in and of itself.

RFG always.