Seeing Stones and Gems as Jewels

Inspired by James 2:1-9. One day while reading this passage, a thought occurred to me and I decided to ponder the reasons on why should we be impartial, other than because the Bible explicitly says so. This teaching after all is not only found in Christianity, but a virtue lauded throughout the world. I believe that, while it is good to explore in-depth the cultures and actions that time, Scripture must be relevant in today’s society to reach out to its people.

I will start off with the first point: the poor are more receptive towards God. This may sound very “spiritualy” but it also contains a rational dimension to it. Back when my family was of the low income class (not that we are well-to-do now mind; but at least better off than those days), life was simpler then. The most important were the basic necessities: food for the day, a roof over our heads, and basic education. Those days, luxury was crossing over the bridge near our flat to eat packet nasi lemak beside a monsoon drain. Image, peer politics, the race to keep up with the latest developments…all of them took the back seat in the face of daily needs. On several occasions my mum told me at times she wondered how she would be able to secure the next meal on the table; during those moments she sought God, who had one way or another provided for us.

From my childhood experience, there was little stopping us from trusting our lives in God’s hands. Life was tougher, but there were no distractions to complicate the path. When we are poor, it does not cost us to believe in Him who will provide a better tomorrow. To sum it up, the poor have nothing; so nothing stops them from coming to God.

The rich are burdened however by the cares of the world. Often they worry about maintaining their wealth and image. They are as seeds that grow amongst the thorns (Luke 8:7). To be honest, I cannot wholly fault them: they live their lives in close scrutiny by the people. The world would hardly remember (or even care) if some street person commits robbery in a secluded village, but one comment from a reputed person may make it to the next morning’s headlines. Once a person has something they value, it is most difficult for them to part with it, especially considering the amount of time they invested: laying the foundation one block at a time; and that wall can easily be broken into pieces in a single blow. Thus the rich are often caught up by their worldly affairs.

Many of us I garner (at least in where I live), do not enjoy politics, least of all when we are affected but not affecting it. Yet that is exactly what we will be practicing in Church should we become partial. We make the Church vulnerable to worldly and human influences. The prominent can thus bend the will of the Church, as those in power are wont to do, perhaps even overriding what is good. A whisper in the “right” ear and they will be able to receive favour for their own gain. Justice will thus be overwritten, as the perpetrator pulls the strings behind the curtains of the Church.

In this world we live in, the majority of its inhabitants belong in the poor category, while only a handful of people sit at the top. There are more people starving on the streets than there are those living in luxurious mansions. By attending only the rich, we are neglecting the needs and salvation of the masses for the sake of the few, so to speak.

By applying bias scales between the rich and poor, we are also indirectly sending out a message to the others, that it is permissible to do so. Not only do we compromise our integrity, but we will also mislead others to do the same. ‘It takes only one rotten apple to spoil the entire basket’. And, as Jesus said of those found guilty, “It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea” (Luke 17:2).

One major virtue of the Church is its poverty. We recognise and acknowledge our greatest worldly treasures are no more than dust in the presence of the King. What we gathered in life, we will not be able to carry it forth into the afterlife. As such, we are all called to live a life of moderation and sharing, as the Church first did in Acts 2:44-45. By displaying this characteristic, we set an example for the well-to-do, a reminder that all their blessings come from God; and as one family in God, are called not only to share with each other their worldly blessings but their lives as well. The call to poverty is, after all, one of the main attractions of the Church, contradictory as it sounds.

Even as I list all this reasons – and there are still many others to be found in the sea –all will hold no meaning if it does not come into practice. And let’s face it: being impartial is not something we can immediately become in a day. It is human nature to look with different eyes the wealthy man dressed in a suit and the dirty naked beggar on the streets, just as choosing between freshly baked buns or stale bread. This Lenten season – a time of fasting, prayer and almsgiving – is an appropriate time to build up our character, and to see everyone as how our Lord sees them: as a precious child of the Father.

RFG always.

Religion Discussion

And yeah, so I wrote that I got to update soon, but one thing and another cropped up (cough – laziness – cough) and so this was only just posted today. Anyway, to the topic: I thought to relay what I had experienced on Tuesday 17 December 2013, as well as my take on it after some contemplation.

That afternoon coming back from a site audit, my supervisor and I had an interesting talk about religion. It was quite a coincidence: a casual question on my interest, and it turned out that he was into the subject of religion as well.

One of the first points he brought up was the struggle of Christians and Muslims in expanding their influence through conversion, something not commonly found in other faiths (mainly Buddhism and Hinduism). This, he said, often led to numerous disputes and violence among the two, while the rest “sit together with each other and live peacefully.”

While I am no expert on other religions, the little I know about Buddhism and Hinduism (as well as Taoism and Shintoism) are that they generally focus more on self-enlightenment, and/or are passed down in the family or geographically. Emphasis on evangelisation however is not placed – their practice, for want of a better word, tend to be exclusive to their particular region and do not (at least directly) spell out doom for non-believers. This is different in the world’s two current largest faiths: conversion is imperative to obtain salvation.

Back to the discussion, I try to keep open and learn about the various religions while maintaining a firm foundation on my faith. I believe that all religions contain glimpses of Truth (Acts 17:26-28; CCC 843) and, like St Thomas Aquinas, one need not fear truth, even if they come from beyond the boundaries of our faith. This came as somewhat a surprise for my supervisor, since he mentioned that he found it rare for this mindset among Christians and Muslims. That for me is not a good sign: there is much we could gain if we do not shut out other people’s views.

The next point brought up was that religion is not only about fact, but of faith. Believing with your heart is essential factor in worship. This statement may seem obvious, yet it is something many people (like me) lack in practice. Although all religion teaches their followers the believe in a Higher Power, when it comes down to it most of us will either consciously or subconsciously shun this knowledge for a more rational line. And when we justify our actions without considering and complementing the faith aspect in them, we impede not only our spiritual but also our personal growth as well, closing ourselves to the various marvels in our daily lives.

Our talk then moved on to the late Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. This was related to the first point of our discussion, as my supervisor noted that the people – regardless of race or religion – called her ‘mother’ because of her works of charity. Mother Teresa once said that that every human is a child of God – from the abandoned children on the streets to the parents who abandoned them on the streets. Ultimately, each and every one of them will be answerable on Judgement Day.

We also touched on the split of the Church, mainly the Roman Catholic and Protestants. How, for instance, the Anglicans came about due to disagreements of marriage, with Henry establishing his own institution as a result. And even within the Protestant denominations more splinters were formed as one pastor’s views conflict with the other. But what really stood out for me was what my supervisor said about the Cross. Often you can find one with the figure of Christ hanging upon it in a Catholic home or even on the person himself/herself. Protestants usually have their crosses plain without the Man Himself, accusing Catholics of “keeping Christ on the cross”. Yet the period when Christ hung upon that wooden structure marked a main event and symbol in Christianity. We worship the Lord Jesus Christ who gave up His life for us on the Cross. A Cross without Christ, rather than having no meaning, can mean anything. My supervisor pointed out that in ancient times, the cross was infamously recognised as an instrument of ultimate punishment for criminals. Linking them together, a cross without Christ could mean those people are worshipping Roman crucifixion. All these words coming from a non-Christian – makes me ashamed I cannot display like knowledge in other religions T_T.

Following from there, he brought up the topic of Leonardo Da Vinci and his painting of Christ. During his time, all those who had seen Jesus physically walk the earth had long since passed away. The earliest Gospel had not been written down until around a hundred years later. Until then, they were preached literally through word of mouth. Without a first-hand witness, Leonardo executed his work by carefully researching the descriptions and information that were passed down throughout the ages.

At some point, my supervisor and I had a slight discourse on the sacrament of Baptism. The reason: he believed it is not right for people to baptise others. His argument was that Christ never baptised; thus how can we be baptising? At that time, I defended against his reasoning by referring to the works of John the Baptist, who came to make straight the path and prepare the way for the Lord through this very act. My supervisor was not convinced, seeming to doubt the reliability of the account of John the Baptist. He then referred me to the documents of the Dead Sea Scrolls and a book called ‘Jerusalem’ for my own research. Should have pointed out other stronger evidences which supported Baptism: Matthew 28:19; Acts 2:38 and 1 Peter 3:21 for instance. Oh well, should take it as a signal for my own faith building.

All in all I found that time to be an insightful experience. If only others were just as open to such discussions to learn from one another, we would be able to prevent numerous misunderstandings and violence, and foster greater peace and harmony among God’s creation throughout the world.

RFG always.

A Vision?

An important note to whoever is reading this: if you expect something mindblowing upon seeing the title (such as news about the end of the world), prepare to be immensely disappointed.

Just thought to share a small personal incident I witnessed during Adoration this night. I was at Church praying at one of the pews. At my Church there is a standalone wall behind the altar, where a large figure of Jesus on the Cross is hung. During nights having Adoration, all lights will be off save the candles flanking the altar on the raised dais, and the background lights positioned behind the figure of Jesus, illuminating it.

After facing the Cross, I closed my eyes and prayed for a while. When I opened them, for an instant my eyes perceived the area at the foot of the Cross was slightly darkened compared to the rest of the area surrounding the figure before returning to normal. The darkened area was in shape of a circle. The wood that made up the Cross remained of similar shade at the foot as with the rest of the figure; only the wall area seemed to darken for that instant.

Rationale may give me a hundred and one reasons to explain off this scenario; however, suffice to say I rather not dwell on such thoughts during prayer and Adoration (also I believe too much of this aspect will also close my mind to experience the miracles in my life). Besides, I did not stare at the Cross for a prolonged period of time and had my eyes shut probably longer than the latter before opening them.

So with that in mind I tried to make meaning of what I saw. I closed my eyes again and this time an outline image of Jesus with the two robbers crucified with him was projected. The crosses of the two criminals were angled slightly away, behind and below; while the outline of Jesus on the Cross was in between them at the forefront, and raised by a small mound at the foot of the Cross.

What I made of this experience, I will just briefly mention, since I felt I had not quite hit the mark. However, at that time I likened the first image of the darkened area to laying everything down at the foot of the Cross. The second image I took it then as Jesus must be the center of our life.

In any case I spent quite a while praying and contemplating this, up until the lights were shut (a cue that the session has ended). It is experiences like this which God blesses my way that I cherish, just as the time He allowed me once to hear a glimpse of the angels’ choir during my high school days.

RFG always.

PS: And just after this date, the following day’s experience seemed to be more than just a passing coincidence, the two seeming somehow related. Gotta start writing again soon XD.

Updated: 18 Dec 2013, on the events that occurred on 16 Dec 2013.

Grace

What is grace? According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, “grace is favour, the free and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become children of God, adoptive sons, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life” (CCC 1996). It is “a participation in the life of God” and “introduces us into the intimacy of Trinitarian life” (CCC 1997). For me, grace is simply this: an act of kindness, undeserved but freely given.

While I have no qualms with what the Bible wrote about grace, there was one passage written by St Paul in his letter to the Romans that had me stumped for a while. The passage, Romans 5:20-6:4 was as follows:

“Law came in, to increase the trespass; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace might also reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

“What shall we say then? Are we to continue to sin so that grace may abound? By no means! How can we, who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptised into Christ Jesus were baptised into His death? We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”

Reading this, there was a time I used to think: because of sin, we are saved then by grace. Through sin, grace shined. And the more we sinned, the more grace shined; the greater the sin, the greater the grace. Yet there seemed to be a problem with St Paul’s words between the end of chapter 5 and the beginning of chapter 6 mentioned above. Taking Romans 5:20, those who have greatly sinned are forgiven by grace. Then Romans 6:1-4 comes in, commanding us not to sin. Yet, what if the person continued and persevered in that sin? Then Romans 5:20 repeats. What then, of God’s law? Will this person really come to inherit the Kingdom?

Rather of inserting my long-winded paragraph filling explanations, I would like instead to relate an experience I went through.

Not too long ago I was surfing the net and came across some websites for pornography. Now I cannot remember the last time I intentionally logged on to an explicit pornographic website (pornographic adverts that inevitably made their way in “normal” sites I surf does not count; I am usually repulsed and ignore them). For years I stopped it due to personal general disgust, the teaching of the Church, and (more so) because of Matthew 5:28.

For some reason however, the compulsion that day got the better of me; and though I knew the act to be wrong, I finally succumbed to searching and watching videos of people getting it on.

At the height of my climax, on sudden impulse I sang a verse from the band For All Eternity’s song, Souls.

Father, Father take my hand. Here I am in awe I stand.

Related or not, that line managed to penetrate me midway through ecstasy and shut close my web browser. The feeling that followed soon after was a deep wave of guilt on what I had done. I knew that if I prayed God will forgive me and wipe me clean from my sin. Yet the thought of Him looking at me with love when I deserved condemnation was excruciatingly painful. Imagine hitting your parent in the face for witnessing a crime you tried to hide on your part, and seeing him/her smile sadly. That was how I felt.

After that incident I vowed to try my hardest not to commit that sin again, with the help of the Spirit. Consequently, this led me to remove a morally twisted program I downloaded and kept hidden amongst my folders. So far, this commitment is holding up.  

This, I believe, is how it will turn out for those who truly live in grace, and gives meaning and my answer to Romans 5:20-6:4.

Hello, I swear I won't be too long

Hello, I promise I'll be real strong

Wait up, I just wanna tell you

Hold up, why are you still here?

I've been dirtier than you wanna know

I've left earlier than you'll ever know

Why do you wanna be all listening to me?
Why do you spread your arms and tell me I'm free?
Why do you wanna be in my life?
In my life?

I've been dirtier than you wanna know

I've left earlier than you'll ever know

Jesus, Jesus

There's something about Your Name

Master, Saviour, Jesus

I've been dirtier than you wanna know

I've left earlier than you'll ever know

Jesus

Jesus

The Almost, Dirty and Left Out.

RFG always.

In Turn Sheep

So it is nearing the end of September, and I am officially going to start my second internship (the first was in diploma). It feels a wee bit awkward as most of my high schoolmates have graduated – some with masters, and one even got married late this year.

More disappointingly however was that I did not manage to secure a placement in the offshore industry. Deepwater had been my interest back since college, and I had been angling my efforts to acquiring a placement in the offshore sector. Not that I should grumble much – I knew only 4 batch mates who managed to enter the sector.

Still, it is a bit hard to let this slide. What did I do wrong in my CV? How did those others who were academically/co-curricularly less robust than me managed to make that breakthrough? Why have I, even setting aside pride and self-independence to enlist aid of inside people, not even incited a single response from those companies? While ironically, the few internationally recognised structural companies I sent half-heartedly gave a near instantaneous ring on my phone.

I never doubted God always planned what is best for me – yet I sometimes wondered if my lack of faith obstructed his plan for me. When I prayed I had this feeling that I should continue to wait until the last moment before confirming my place in a company. I had a hunch that the longer I wait, a better opportunity would present itself to me. Sure enough the companies, both image and monetary wise seemed to grow better with each passing offer. I honesty wondered if I made too hasty a decision in jumping ship on the second company offer – just after a few hours, another internationally recognised company called me with a potential wage slightly less than twice the amount than the one I accepted. And it did not help when my course mates surrounded and berated me for foregoing such an opportunity -.-.

Still, what’s done is done, and I am thankful that I managed to secure a place in my soon-to-be company. Though still a bit disappointed, I am sure God will see me through this next leg of my life, and He will take what I view as a dry and malnourished land and cause it to yield a fruitful harvest.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart...and He will me straight your paths.”

Proverbs 3:4-5

RFG always.

Do Your Best and God Will Do the Rest

Since the beginning of the semester, there is one thing mutually feared and by all my classmates this in my university, myself included. It is an entity none of us could firmly grasp, govern by laws we cannot fully understand, and one which devoid from a single definite solution. The dreaded entity is known as the Design of Reinforced Concrete Structures.

The subject is taught by a lecturer who expects us to immediately remember and comprehend what is said, and recall all the related subjects learnt in previous semesters. Add it together and you have the perfect ingredient for what you need to stupefy a student.

The worked examples were…perhaps to better paint a picture, we are given ‘1+1=2’, then ‘If you have 17 apples and you add 6 more to it, you will have 23 apples’. When the assignments came, they were ‘You have a bottle and you bought another triple the number. Calculate the total volume of water for the bottles.’

Using this metaphor: the first equation is direct; the second example was more complicated with a bit of twist; the third, in addition to what was freshly taught required the knowledge of previous subjects, forced us to think out of the box and use our discretion to solve the problem. For the third example you will first need a certain level of English comprehension to understand and meet the requirement of the problem. Then to find the volume of water, we could assume different sizes for each bottle, or different volumes of water containing in the bottles, or we can say we referred to the plastic label on the bottle. Ultimately when it comes down to it, they are all additions.

It came as no surprise then, that nobody in my class managed to complete the entire assignment, except 2 exchange students who had previously taken the course back at their home university. When the first test came, the nightmare was all we had imagined – and more. Even the general assistants (GAs) pointed us to the incorrect interpretation/method of solving a problem. By the time it ended, we were all resigned to the seemingly obvious fact of achieving low marks for the test. Frankly I could say for the majority of the questions I knew peanuts of what I was doing, and second-doubting the ones which I knew.

Needless to say, receiving back our results were like awaiting execution. Yet when I saw the value contained within the red circle, I was honestly surprised in did, well…well. If there is one thing I must say, this incident reminded me – again in the series of many agains – that as long as I put effort in doing my best and lifting it up to the Lord in prayer, the situation cannot go far wrong.

The event also brought to mind a recent story I read from the Bible. In the last chapters of the first book of Samuel 29 to 30, before he was king, when David went with the Achish King of Gath in the war against Israel his own kin, I doubt he knew what he should really do should he meet in battlefield. Sandwiched between the Philistines (his former enemy turned current host and ally) and Israel (who would perceive him a betrayer who joined their enemy’s ranks), it was obviously not the best position to be in.

Yet David trusted God, and in faith he went together with the Philistines. And God in His great wisdom to establish David’s future reign, worked out the pieces for David. At the last moment David withdrew from the battle, saved his people captured by the Amalekites, gained a substantial fortune in the process, used it to strengthen ties with his people in Judah, and Saul the current king of Israel was killed, thus paving the way for David’s kingship.

In life, things will not always be a breeze of the wind, and at times I feel as close to flipping tables. Just take your best shot, pray, trust in the Lord and His timing, and, just as He continuously sees me through the rest of the way, so I pray for living souls who are reading this that you will find your trust in Him.

RFG always.

Step Back and Live a Prayer

Awhile back when I was struggling to cope with my busy start of the semester, I felt keenly something which I am rarely conscious of – I was beginning to despise my nightly devotion. The minimum 1 hour I set aside became more of a mechanical routine – distant and impersonal.

Going through this was like the post-Lenten period all over again. Checking my watch every few minutes to see if I had reached the set time, I began to lose the meaning of this devotion in the first place. If I were to give an analogy it was like sitting in class and waiting impatiently for the bell to go off during the final period. Only, this was not merely an educational lesson, nor was it supposed to be a distant unrelated subject taught by some droning teacher.

While setting a standard and working to meet it can indeed be a good thing, yet forcing yourself under high stress and a foul mood may actually result in a destruction in interest. This would only detract and shut the message God intends to deliver to me.

Back when I initially set myself this benchmark, I originally meant for it to be a time where I could set aside the activities of the day and dedicate the period so that I may increase my relationship with Him, be it through the Word, reflections, prayer, or adoration. Although I did update myself on the time every now and then, I did not particularly kept tabs on how long I went, sometimes going nearly thrice the set standard.

Even now I felt my actions in this similar to the Pharisees in Jesus’ time – only the show I stage was for myself, my own satisfaction. While others may not gaze on the performance, it was a much more subtle act of self-righteousness and gratification, one harder to correct since itself is harder to (consciously) spot. And with that, I gradually began to lose grip on the main intention of centering on God.

The time when I was freshly aware of this, led by the Spirit I decided to go through the day’s readings as I attempted to sort this out. At that time, the words of Sirach 35:1-5; Psalms 50:5-6, 7-8, 14, 23 and Mark 10:28-31 called out from the pages. In fact the first verse in the first reading from Sirach, immediately reached out to me:

“He who keeps the law makes many offerings; he who heeds the commandment sacrifices a peace offering.”

Sharing in God’s life requires an earnest effort to improve of one’s heart and actions, not simply following a “dead” rule. That is the true spirit of the Law, which can be summarised as love God and neighbour (Luke 10:27). Even when it was mentioned to “keep the Sabbath day holy,” (Exodus 20:8) our Lord showed in numerous passages (Luke 6:1-10, 13:10-17, 14:2:-6, etc.) that we are not to compromise showing His love because of our own self-righteous standards.

The following Psalm further reinforced this, and affirmed that true sacrifice comes not from superficial offerings; instead

“Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving…call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.”

(Psalms 50:14-15)

The Gospel concluded it in whole, when Peter said “we have given up everything and followed you.” At that moment, it reminded me that our whole lives – all our activities of eating, sleeping, studying, working, etc. – are to be lifted in prayer. Thus it challenged me to carry my prayers into my daily activities. 

With all that is said however, I still do not intend to compromise my time set aside for prayer/devotion. The conclusions I arrived to were not to provide me a leeway, but so that I may understand and work to overcome the problem.

But there are times where I need to know my human limits, and that it would better to cease rather than accumulating loathing for His word. Thus I should also learn to focus on my work and lift them up as a prayer.

RFG always.